Ways to AnnoyPlay Pranks on Kaname and Zero!
by EmiAni
Summary: I was high on cinnamon rolls, so I decided to start writing this. How to annoy and play pranks on Kaname and Zero.
1. Chapter 1

**So… What's up, peeps? I'm hyper on cinnamon rolls, since I just ate like, 7 of them. LOL, so this is my supposedly funny fanfic.**

**Welcome to 20 ways to annoy/play pranks on Kaname! Him and my OC are together. LOL I'll make a version of them not together though.**

**Let's start.**

1. Have Natsumi 'leave' Kaname for someone else, in front of the whole Night Class.

"Kaname, we can't be together." Natsumi burst out.

Kaname's eyes widened.

"Why? Whatever it is, I can change it. I love you Natsumi, I really do-"

They were eating dinner with the rest of the Night Class. The rest of the vampires stopped eating to listen to them.

"It's not me it's you. "

"You mean it's not me it's you?" He asked, confused.

"That's what I said."

"No it's not."

"Stop confusing me. Anyway, there's someone else. He's a great guy and he tastes so much better than you. His icing is so sweet—"

"Wait, you're dumping me because you gave a guy oral and it tasted better?"

"Please don't think of it that way. Just know I'll always love you." With that said she got up. Natsumi exchanged an amused glance with Yuki, who was there because Natsumi invited her.

Natsumi walked into her room, a piece of cake, sitting on her desk. She scraped off some of the icing and smeared it on her lips.

"Haha, best prank ever." She said, putting a fork into the piece of cake. She sat herself at the desk and started moaning repeatedly to trick her lover.

**With Kaname and Yuki.**

"Kaname, if you go and show her how much she needs you, she'll want you back." Yuki said, pulling on his arm. He reluctantly stood up and let Yuki drag him to Natsumi's room. As practiced, Yuki knocked on the door.

"I'm sorry, but I have to kill you. You ruined my relationship with the sexiest vampire you could see. Like really." Could be heard from inside.

Kaname kicked down the door. "Wait! Don't kill him because… of ….me…" he said, but slowed down towards the end of the sentence.

Natsumi was on her last bite. "I'm sorry, my darling," She said as ate it. She chewed a few times before swallowing. "Yum, icing."

Kaname walked over to her and pulled her into a strong hug.

"I'm sorry I—"

"You're sorry you had oral sex with a piece of cake? … Your apology is accepted my love. And I admit, you got me good." He said before kissing her neck.

"Get a room, guys. Seriously." Yuki said while backing out of the room.

**Didjalykeet? (Translation: Did you like it?)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm back! This time high on jello. Please don't judge me, and I won't judge you. Cuz you could get ugly, while I'm still beautiful~! Isn't that how the song goes? Idk. Anyway lets go on to number 2!**

**2. Kaname has found a song that reminds him of Natsumi. Unfortunately, Aidou still thinks Natsumi cheated on Kaname, so he records over the song, and adjusts the stereo so the volume is super high and it can be heard through the whole dorm.**

**8:21 AM. Kaname and Natsumi's room.**

"Natsumi, this song reminds me of how much I love you," Kaname said, putting the disc into the music player. Natsumi was dressed in a pair of her pajamas. She was smiling sweetly, but inside she was dead tired after the shitload of homework their teachers had given them.

"You have to listen to the whole thing." He said after the song started to play. It started off with a sweet piano melody, but then it was cut off as a whole different kind of beat started to play. It sounded harsh, but it was badass. After a few seconds, the lyrics started to sound.

_My tongue is a Uzi, My dick is a AK. My tongue is a Uzi, My dick is a AK, my tongue go brrrrrr, my dick go BAH! My tongue go brrrrrr, my dick go BAH! Bitch._

Natsumi shifted, resisting the urge to scream 'What the fuck?'. Her mind went through all the possible reasons a song like this was playing. 'Maybe the song will get better and talks about how his guns shoot me with love, yeah that's it.' She mused.

_Lay on the bed. Open that twat. I French kiss that pussy, like muah (haha). Sit on my face, m-u-a-h, before I eat that pussy, I say my grace._

What the hell? 'I swore vampires ate people.' She thought. Kaname was trying to get the stereo to stop playing the song but it wouldn't stop.

_Girl I'm nastier than him, I don't know why you still with him. Beat that pussy go to sleep, she got that Tylenol PM. Fuck that bitch until she tired, till she tired like a rim. (_**A/N: Ooh I just got that line! Cuz rims are on tires! Get it? Tired sounds like tires! Lol, that's funny.) **_Give her head like a brim, it taste good, M-M-M. Pussy monster in her closet—_

She looked at her closet, then at Kaname. His head was in his hands, while he paced back and forth.

_-Full of surprises, I give fullbody massages. I hope that pussy smell like a violet, I hope that pussy warmer than luke, And sweet as Godiva. _

Her eyes drifted over to the box of candy and flowers he got her.

_Suck this dick and swallow that nut and call it penis colada. Lift up that mini skirt, that's my dinner dessert._

'I will never wear another skirt again. Including dresses.' She stored in her thoughts.

_She fell in love with the marshon, I said you two down to earth. Man, these hoes, love Wayne, got a bunch of dimes, that's chump change. This shit is target practice, and your bitch is my gun range! My tounge is a Uzi, My dick is a AK. My tongue is a Uzi, my dick is a AK, My tongue go brrrrr, my dick go BAH! My tongue go brrrr, my Dick go BAH!_

Was she his…gun range? Well, he never shot at her. So there.

_My tongue is a Uzi, my dick is a AK, I'm waitin' down here for her to come like payday. I'm hoping this juice, is sweeter than baked cake. She say it's for me, she lie with a straight face._

'Never again, will I make a cake.' She mused.

_I'm trying to eat healthier, so I ate a veggie. I sucked on that pussy, I feel better already. She said…go slower, and I went faster. My tongue is a motor, my dick is a Nascar._

The silver-haired Pureblood sat on her legs, face as red as a tomato.

_Whipped cream on that pussy, dickhead like a bullet, if her hair real imma pull it, I hope her ass feel like cushion._

'Oh hell no, I spent way too long growing this hair,' She thought trying not to imagine herself with patches of bald spots.

_I give her wood when he wouldn't, I hope that pussy taste like pudding. I give that hoe the boot…hold up lemme put my foot in._

She stood up and screamed.

Takuma heard a scream and looked up from his manga. "Are they making love to that song?" he asked.

There were a lot of 'hmms' going around the room.

"If they are, he's really givin' it to her,' Kain shrugged.

They heard a crash, and stared in awe as cracks began to appear on the wall. Kaname ran into the room as a Highly embarrassed, blushing, angry Natsumi was stalking toward him holding a reverse sword.

"Come here, Kaname, I don't want to hurt you, I promise it'll be quick and painless." She soothed. He backed away.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't turn it off, I didn't mean to offend you—" He was interrupted by Natsumi tackling him and freezing him to the ground.

"Are you guys just going to stand there while she tries to cut off my penis? Don't you think it's a little extreme?"

Rima shrugged. "Nothin' we can do."

Natsumi got off of him. "It is a little extreme, isn't it?" She said standing up and holding her hand out to him. He took it and she pulled him up. They kissed and hugged.

"Kaname, I hope you know that you won't be shooting at my gun range for a long time." She said with a low voice.

**A month later.**

"Can I shoot now?" He asked he while she was cutting up fruit. She paused and held up the knife.

"Try me, if you dare,"

**This seems random to me.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own VK or the song. All credits go to their owners.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ooh, I'm back.**

**3. Have Natsumi tell KNaname why she's glad he chose her over Yuuki.**

**With the Night Class, in the Lounge Yuuki is visiting.**

"Kaname, I love you so much." Natsumi said snuggling up against his chest. "I'm really glad you chose me over Yuuki-Chan." Yuuki looked over at the two and smiled. She truly was happy for them.

"Mmm, why is that my love?" He asked.

"Because your children would have been…ew." She said, shrugging.

"How?" Yuuki butt in.

"Well I heard that there was this girl that had a child with her brother and the thing was deformed. It had like 835674 legs, 58260 arms, and 23842 heads. It was mentally retarded too. The thing was a freak."

"OH MY GOD! EWWW EWWW EWWW EWWWWW EWWWW EWWWWW!" Yuuki screamed. Kaname sat there silent.

"Natsumi, wanna have a baby?" he asked.

"Kaname, you're funny. "

"Haha, good one!" Zero said, laughing. "Wait… Kuran, were your parents related?"

"Yes why?"

"Oh, no wonder you turned out how you did."

"LOL! THAT'S HILARIOUS! Lol, lol, and here's one for your back pocket, LOL." Natsumi laughed rolling onto the floor, kicking her legs, not caring if she was wearing a skirt.

"It's not that funny…" Kaname said, staring.

"Yes it fucking is! When we have children, I am so telling them this!"

"So, we're having children?" Kaname said grinning at her.

"Wait, I never said-"

"We better start trying then." Kaname said picking her up, bridal-style.

"Wait, no-"

"I'm going to show you how much I love you." He said in the doorway of their room.

"I STILL WANNA BE INNOCENT! I'M SORRY! I DUN WANNA HAVE BABIES YOUNG LET ME GOOO!"

"You're over 10,000 years old, I'm getting you pregnant."

"WHY?"

"Because you laughed at me."

"I'll do anything! Not this!"

"Yeah okay,"

"Put me down!"

"I'll try to be gentle."

"What? I'm not letting you try shit! Lemme go!"

"I'll handcuff you to the bed."

"You son of a bitch!"

Yuuki looked at Zero and shrugged.

"She asked for it."

**Oh, random.**


End file.
